Almost halfway through the year with nothing to show for it. But April/May has always been about change for me.

Two years ago: Preparing to move into my current apartment
Four years ago: Just moved into the city
Six years ago: Graduated from college
Eight years ago: Moved out completely on my own for the first time
Ten years ago: Graduated high school
Twelve years ago: Moved to US and A.

Somehow this year seems dull by comparison. Maybe it has been some subconscious anticipation on my part that has been waiting for something dramatic to happen, but of course, accidental temporal patterns are the biggest liars of all, and the longer one stretches the greater the potential for disappointment. A twelve year streak isn't bad.

I miss working on collaborative creative projects. Everything I've been doing lately has been so introverted and I haven't even shown any of it to anyone (and honestly, there isn't much to show) so I feel, like, dead inside or something. Writing sucks. Music sucks. Stifled creatively. Gaming a lot, so I'm pretty happy with the social outlets, but it's not doing much to get me to buckle down and do some real fucking work. Much of this, I think, is because I don't have other people working with me, which always lights a fire under my ass. Or it's a great excuse.

Anyway. Back to stupid job-work. Tick tock tick tock.